Just Now.

I am just now accessing this memory for the first time in... maybe 30 years, so please bear with me. It hit me just now as I looked at the record-selling (as of today) painting Portrait of George Dyer Talking on Facebook.

I'm about three years old, and my family is moving from a tiny house in a tiny town to a very large house in a small town. I am sitting on the thick mustard yellow carpet of my parent's bedroom, with only their bed frame and a dozen or so stacks of National Geographic magazines. The room is very cold, even though it is summer. This room is always cold, for some reason. The walls are dark brown faux wood paneling- the cheap stuff. I cannot remember why, but no one else is home, and it's been this way for hours. Somehow I know it will be like this for hours more, and there is only the light bulb and the National Geographics to keep me company.

I do not own toys yet anyway. My family was poor and my dad is criminally selfish, so when I feel like playing with toys, my hands become whatever action figures I want. Usually He-Man or Thundercats or G.I. Joe or major sports, it's something I'll perfect throughout my childhood. To this day my hands find themselves making the motions of a baseball pitcher or a karate fight. I would arrange the magazines to form buildings, forts, and villages. I've been in here a long time.

I learned how to read last summer, when I turned two. I bring this up now because this is when I decide to try and read these National Geographics. I learned how to read at Catholic bible school, toting my large, white leather bible and tagging along behind my older sisters. I think I was mainly going so my mom would have some alone time at the house. It only just now occurs to me that I can apply that same skill to these neat little books, and not just the big scary bible. God damn that book scared me. What a pile of shit. There are diamonds in the shit, but shit nonetheless.

I had also already figured out basic numbering, probably with the help of my oldest sister, so I wanted to start in order. I started with the oldest (by my estimation) issue and began reading. I read about African tribes, and Egyptian culture. I read about Buddha and dinosaurs, saw more breasts than I knew how to process, and looked at a lot of pictures. Obviously, I didn't read many of them that night. I read enough that I never really believed the bible again, though. Odd, that.

I think this is the first time I've ever thought about any of this, other than the cold room, the carpet, and the magazines.

Andre Reed vs. Jerry Rice.

Here is a very simple argument, in case you were looking for one, why Andre Reed was better than Jerry Rice.

You read that right; I believe today, as well as I did throughout each of their entire careers (of which I personally witnessed), that Andre Reed was the superior wide receiver.

Instead of engaging in rigmarolic (yes, I made that word up and I like it and you'll probably see it again) banter based on their individual statistics, my argument is one of reason. First, you probably think it's ridiculous to have this discussion and not base it on statistics, but I think statistics are just part of the picture when you're determining a player's greatness. My rebuttal to that is that there are so many factors that make the career statistics of both receivers generally incomparable (except in the broadest sense), namely:

Conditions: (remember, I told you before I'm not looking any of this shit up) There is no argument to the fact that the majority of games that Jerry Rice played in his career were of extraordinarily better weather conditions than those in which Andre Reed played.

NO. ARGUMENT.

That said, there is also no argument to the fact that pristine weather conditions (70 degrees and up, little wind or precipitation) greatly increase passing in football. Jerry Rice played in San Francisco. Andre Reed played in Buffalo.

Statistical advantage: Rice

Role in Offense: This one is more easily debatable, because I have seen much more of the great Buffalo offense of Andre Reed's career than the offense of Joe Montana and Jerry Rice (other than highlights and Super Bowls, lol), but my position is that Jerry Rice was a significantly bigger part of the San Francisco offense than Andre Reed was in Buffalo. Andre Reed was one of several dangerous passing targets, including (variously) James Lofton, Don Beebe, Chris Burkett, Keith McKeller... remember, I'm not looking anything up, but I bet if I did, I would find Jerry Rice was targeted a whole hell of a lot more than Andre Reed. Just a hunch.

Statistical advantage: Rice

But the basic argument I'd like to make that proves that Andre Reed was the superior wide receiver is much simpler. Just ask yourself, if you theoretically swapped players, and gave it honest thought in your mind about how each's career would go, I think you would agree that Andre Reed's numbers would be much better than they are (which are already pretty goddamned amazing, considering above)- whereas Jerry Rice's numbers would be significantly worse than they are.

Just think. Andre Reed was generally considered to be one of the toughest, most dangerous over-the-middle receivers ever... and he also had every bit of the speed, route-running, and catching ability of Rice. In fact, I think Reed was most likely even faster than Rice. Careers swapped, I think Reed's numbers would have been better than Rice's are, and Rice's numbers would be lower than Reed's.

You know I'm right.